The Scared Boy Who Found His Way Home

STEP 1: Abandoned Band Member: Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back!

I was worried a lot as a kid, and even as a yung adult. I felt constantly anxious in social situations, and I looked around at my college mates and family members and I thought I wasn’t normal, and started to question myself: ‘how come they don’t look anxious? what’s their secret?’. I thought about it so much to the point of it actually winding me up! It got to the point where, although it was scary and completely nerv-wrecking for me, I deciding to start putting myself in situations that did cause my anxiety to rise and nerves to increase. Why did I do this? Because I was fed up of it holding me back! An example of this is when I was studying my BTEC National Certificate at New College Durham. During this time Valentines Day was approaching and I spoke to the person in charge of organising and authorizing these events, about me and my class mate and friend at the time, performing a short Valentines Day gig as an open to the main band, what happened? The person with whom I was supposed to be gigging with dropped out a week before,…I thought, ‘what a fucking asshole, what a coward!' He’s left me on my own!’ Needless to say it lessened my impression of him. However, after processing this information, I thought, ‘you know what? I’m going to do this anyway! He’s a coward, but I’m NOT!’ I did the gig on my own and performed five songs in which I sung and played the guitar to both. Those songs involved ‘Daughtry, Something Good’ and ‘Westlife, Flying Without Wings’. I was nervous throughout the entire performance and my hands were shaking. But, I wanted to build resiliance and build courage.

At Pure Gym, Sunderland, where I worked as a Personal Trainer, I put myself in another situation similar - I planned, organised and presented my own presentation on Nutrition and Health, because I wanted to build courage, build resiliance, and more importantly, educate people in a way that isn’t taught in schools, because it could literally be the difference between them suffering with nutrition-related health issues, and them thriving with the proper guidance. Was I nervous through the 45-minute presentation? Of course I was! I was dressed in a navy-blue suit and tie presenting to literally ten people about a topic that could help them, that also involved a Q&A afterwards. I love the experience afterwards though, as it help me grow as a person.

STEP 2: The Hot Pot Conundrum: Research Your Shit

I was about 21 years of age when I had ,my health scare. I still remember,…it was about 6.30pm on a Tuesday evening, 2012. The trigger? A homemade cheese & onion hotpot, but what was the cause?

…I was in so much pain it was unbareable, and I remember tossing and turning in my bed the morning after. I was in tears and it felt as if someone had a key to my chest and was stabbing me with it, repeatedly.

After going to my local GP, all the advice he could give after I explained i tto him was, ‘oh, I think you’re drinking too much milk’,…I thought, ‘that’s it?! REALLY?!’

I was not happy with was unsatisfactory answers! So I saught out a different means of approach, and during this time I was in the phase of very open-mindedly searching for answers, and was very receptive.

I read through online articles and watched documentaries on YouTube intensely. I knew I would find the correct answers…

Shortly after going to the doctors, I “limped” to the acupuncture place in the Metro Centre, Gateshead, because it was the only place I already knew of that could potentially help with my situation, while I was still in excruciating pain!

…every two steps - ‘BUDDUM’, one…two, ‘BUDDUM’ - the pain, … it was like a heartbeat.

I made it to the acupuncture place and explained my situation to them, they knew what it was straight away! The professional who was tending to me explained that this whole procedure will take about 35-40 minutes, and I was okay with that because I saw it as an opportunity to try my best and meditate through the acupuncture.

My first time having acupuncture so I didn’t know how it really worked. All I knew is what they “illustrate it as on tv”, FAST, and it’s anything but fast, depending on what needs doing, and what meridean channels need opening and how much they are blocked.

…after the firey-cup treatment was done (which took aboiut 5-minutes), I laid there for 30 minutes with needles in me, where I tried to relax m body through meditation. It was a weird experience but it was one, looking back, that I was quite fond of. It taught me so much and opened up my mind!

…but having this treatment was only half of the battle won. Going off what I had read and watched, I eliminated gluten and dairy for two-three weeks, and PRESTO! My pain was gone!!

I tried to different methods here: 1) the orthodox method, which resulted in failure, and 2) The wholistic method which resulted in success.

Let’s wrap it up

A) DEVELOP COURAGE

B) Put in the EFFORT to find what works!

The was a lot of anxiety and fear in my ,if between the ages of 21-28, and I had a lot of uncertainty. But I will say this: Always look for answers rgardless how you feel, and always experiment with different methods until you found the one that works for you.

Fear is an emotion, and NOT reality!

Thanks for reading!

Brad